This weekend, I lost a dear friend of mine(kk). A true kindred spirit.
In college, you are surrounded by people that think like you, talk like you and live life like you. However, in the “real” world your college friends are scattered to the wind & you can’t find that type of comradery very easily. Kenneth (who I affectionately called “K”) was my sweet compatriot here. We both loved art, history, preservation, the outdoors, traveling, and have completely silly senses of humor. We were each other’s cheer leaders, when we needed it ……..& we could give each other kicks in the pants when we needed it too. He had been the director of the Oren Dunn museum for almost 10 years, and was a plethora of information on all things Tupelo….when I needed a good history lesson. He let me dive into the secret vaults and interrupt his busy day with a quick bite at some of our favorite stomping grounds. I’m grateful to have had him in my life.
I share this for one reason, one reason only. He died senselessly and alone.
The last several months, he pushed all his friends and loved ones away. He was suffering from depression and several other tragic circumstances. I tried to reach out to him, but he was stubborn and wouldn’t let anyone in to see or talk with him. I had relinquished to try to leave him notes and messages, in hopes of a return phone call. I had no idea the depths of which he had fallen. I will forever regret not trying harder to reach my sweet friend. I pray sweet peace over his family that is suffering in ways that only the Lord can heal. I pray for the Lord to help me forgive myself and other friends that are suffering the same regrets.
“My lyre is tuned to mourning, and my pipe to the sound of wailing.” Job 30: 31
This verse is really my heart cry today. However, I am grateful that Job’s anguish (which is certainly more that I could imagine), is redeemed. I have hope that I will meet my friend again one day in eternity. I want to remember only the sweet fellowship that we had and look forward to that day. I want to rest in knowing that he is sitting at the feet of Jesus and he suffers no more. I want to rest in knowing that he was NEVER ALONE. For I know my Redeemer was holding his hand even in his darkest hour.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Meaningless Toiling
My quiet time this morning was in Ecclesiastes 2. I’ve been in an Ecclesiastical mood for the past several days……you know, the ALL IS MEANINGLESS!!
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
22 What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? 23 All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.
24 A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?
I guess the summation for me is, you must toil & labor for something that brings enjoyment. That’s what the Lord wants from us. He doesn’t want us to toil & labor for someone else’s enjoyment……but for us to bring Him glory now. I say this with trepidation because the first part of Eccl. 2 talks about indulging in all your desires. We aren’t called to that either, but we should toil in things that bring enjoyment.
Pray that God would cleanse my pitiful excuse for an attitude & bring about new joy & meaning to my life. That His full purpose for me & my family would be realized & glorified.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
22 What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? 23 All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.
24 A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?
I guess the summation for me is, you must toil & labor for something that brings enjoyment. That’s what the Lord wants from us. He doesn’t want us to toil & labor for someone else’s enjoyment……but for us to bring Him glory now. I say this with trepidation because the first part of Eccl. 2 talks about indulging in all your desires. We aren’t called to that either, but we should toil in things that bring enjoyment.
Pray that God would cleanse my pitiful excuse for an attitude & bring about new joy & meaning to my life. That His full purpose for me & my family would be realized & glorified.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
A Call for Self-Reflection
A Call for Self-Reflection. This was the challenge that was made to a special gathering of worship & study last night. Too often, we think of others for their need of growth & neglect our own.
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Luke 6:42
I do this too often, whether I voice it or not. I will admit it has been an even bigger challenge now that I work in a workplace primarily of women. Gossip & slander appear at every interval. Oh how deep are the caverns of which we fall into darkness…….such a slippery slope.
A few months ago, I challenged myself to not saying ANYTHING critical of my husband for a month. Not even a “you forgot to put the trash out to be collected”……..nothing. Oh wow, challenging is definitely not an adequate description of what that month was. While, to David: it was the brightest & easiest month of our entire marriage. I was hoping that I had broken that bad habit & that it would begin to reign in a new season of our marriage. Oh but it only takes once or twice to see a fault here or there & “poof” you are back to where you were.
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30
Oh brother, am I tremendously guilty of grieving the Holy Spirit!! It is a daily struggle to work out my personal walk with Christ with my eye continually on the prize & not my own selfish ways.
Thankfully, I serve a merciful God.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Luke 6:42
I do this too often, whether I voice it or not. I will admit it has been an even bigger challenge now that I work in a workplace primarily of women. Gossip & slander appear at every interval. Oh how deep are the caverns of which we fall into darkness…….such a slippery slope.
A few months ago, I challenged myself to not saying ANYTHING critical of my husband for a month. Not even a “you forgot to put the trash out to be collected”……..nothing. Oh wow, challenging is definitely not an adequate description of what that month was. While, to David: it was the brightest & easiest month of our entire marriage. I was hoping that I had broken that bad habit & that it would begin to reign in a new season of our marriage. Oh but it only takes once or twice to see a fault here or there & “poof” you are back to where you were.
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30
Oh brother, am I tremendously guilty of grieving the Holy Spirit!! It is a daily struggle to work out my personal walk with Christ with my eye continually on the prize & not my own selfish ways.
Thankfully, I serve a merciful God.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Christmas in TX
We had a great time in Texas visiting David’s family (parents, grandparents, sister, brother-in-law & niece & nephew). I’d love to say Drew’s favorite part of the trip was spending time with everyone. However, I think it was pretty clear to everyone there that he was in complete awe of “Grandpa’s big blue fish.” He would go around the room giving everyone tours of Grandpa Dale’s scale breaking marlin.
However, he had a great time playing with his cousins Thad & Emily. Oh how I wish we were closer to each other & our kids could play more often.
We got to see Grandpa & Grandma Denick which was such a nice treat. Grandma Keeney made such good meals too!!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sweeter than Honey
How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103
I have been meditating on Psalm 119 this week. This particular verse touched my heart just now. It was such a beautiful word picture for me. Drew loves having honey on his biscuit for breakfast. In fact, if he won't finish his breakfast (waffle, biscuit, pancake,etc)...he will always finish if you put a little honey on it for him (even if he already has syrup or jelly on his plate). There is something particularly special about that honey bear.
If honey is so wonderful, how much more wonderful are your words to me?! I've been so comforted by the Word recently.It's been balm to my weary soul.
My heart is heavy by all the circumstances that surround me. Yet, I'm comforted by the most delicious heart food.
Many try to find pleasure from the things of this world. Many try to find redemption by acts of charity. I'm feasting on the Word of Life. Seconds Please!!
sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103
I have been meditating on Psalm 119 this week. This particular verse touched my heart just now. It was such a beautiful word picture for me. Drew loves having honey on his biscuit for breakfast. In fact, if he won't finish his breakfast (waffle, biscuit, pancake,etc)...he will always finish if you put a little honey on it for him (even if he already has syrup or jelly on his plate). There is something particularly special about that honey bear.
If honey is so wonderful, how much more wonderful are your words to me?! I've been so comforted by the Word recently.It's been balm to my weary soul.
My heart is heavy by all the circumstances that surround me. Yet, I'm comforted by the most delicious heart food.
Many try to find pleasure from the things of this world. Many try to find redemption by acts of charity. I'm feasting on the Word of Life. Seconds Please!!
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