Monday, July 13, 2009

Happy Time = Depressing Time

This is supposed to be some of the happiest moments of our lives. Yet, we have spent the last few weeks on the verge of complete breakdown. We ask that all our friends continue to lift us up as we spend our last days with Jack.

We are having to trick him to eat now. As of yesterday, he won't eat out of his bowl. He's turning into skin & bones. He'll only take the food as "treats." We have to limit his water intake, because he has so much fluid being drained off his heart & lungs. He has to be walked/let out every 3 hours max.

Although, after the vet doubling a few of the medications last Thursday...he seems to have a bit more energy. He's getting up & following David around the house again......instead of just laying around all the time. He still wags his tail for getting a 'treat/food' after a trick, before a walk, and meets us as the door. So, I know my boy still has some spark left in him.

His heart still beats rapidly..and you can see him breath heavily after playing with a toy for less than a minute. The simplest things tire him easily.

I called some of my family, and had a tough conversation...seeking to find Jack a peaceful resting place. We still haven't decided what we'll do when the time comes. I do know that we don't want him to suffer. We're prepared for that (as much as anyone can be). Although, I know we'd rather him pass comfortably as home.

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We have placed applications with a few doberman rescue groups, for another dog, after Jack passes. We visited one this weekend, a 2 yr male dobe named Connie Mack. He was a beautiful dog, full of energy but very loving. David was thoroughly impressed with him. Although, I can't seem to think of this visit as anything short of "cheating" on my precious Jack. So, I honestly can't tell you what I think of him. No dog could compare to my sweet boy Jack.

It will be hard, but I know that I can't compare them. While Jack is perfect now, it took months of training to establish our house & "pack" rules. We'll be starting over with any dog, but Jack wasn't perfect in the beginning either. I lost an expensive sweater, several bread starters, and a sandwich or two those first few months.
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So, here we are... in the midst of celebrating new life. Yet, we are grieving. Life is so complicated. Ecclesiastes assures us of all these different seasons of life. Yet, it's hard to understand the overlap of these seasons (life & death). We know that God is in control. His plans are to prosper us. So, I guess that means... We will praise the LORD our Creator, our Master, our Maker, our Savior even in this. We have been blessed by this creature in our life. Even now, we'd go thru this again to receive all the blessings.

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